I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
