i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
