I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize