Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
