dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
