she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
