i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
