I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
