he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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