Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
it was like eating out sand paper
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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