just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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