I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Randomize
