even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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