dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
