apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
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how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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