Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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