So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
