yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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