I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
