Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
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He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
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i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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