Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
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He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
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We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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