Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize