Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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