i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We need to get me chipped asap
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
