I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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