I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Small penises have feelings too.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
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Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
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Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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