My liver just broke up with me...
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
