I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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