East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
