i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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