NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
im holly from the hills drunk
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
