he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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