Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
