I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
