and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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