so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
