i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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