Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
