This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
