i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
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