The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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