2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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