when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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