you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
