I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
