I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You smell like stripper and shame
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize