So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
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We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
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After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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