I look better un-naked...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
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It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
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I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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