Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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