You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
