I think my fart just growled at me.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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