I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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