I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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