guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
