He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
