LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
