if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
